My Best is Not Enough

Wake up, go to school, have classes, attend school club meetings, go to the library, study, go home, sleep.

Repeat.

This is the life of a regular secondary school student in Singapore. School life in Singapore is hectic: on top of having six hours of lessons a day, students need to join a school club – known as Co-Curricular Activities (CCA).

This doesn’t come without reason: when Singapore gained independence just around 50 years ago, it had nothing – no natural resources and little friends. For Singapore to become the financial hub it is today, Singapore’s late founding Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew only had one choice, “to develop Singapore’s only available natural resource: its people.”

Fast-forward 54 years, education had since consumed the lives of youths in the country. An emphasis on meritocracy made education ever competitive: success is defined by how many awards one receives, whether one enters a good school, and whether one gets a good job.

This is why the country’s tuition industry is booming. Parents send children to after-school help, so that they won’t lose out to their peers when it comes to studies. Children also attend enrichment classes, getting crammed with skills like the arts or sports, so that they have an edge over others.

My time in secondary school was one of the busiest. I took nine subjects at school, and my CCA – the drama club – had rehearsals up to four days a week. I had piano lessons, ballet lessons, painting classes, and tuition for my weakest subjects. Even so, I revelled in my hectic lifestyle.

People question, why commit to the point where one doesn’t have time to let loose?

Societal influence, maybe. The pressure to do better than your neighbour is ever present; parents compare their children’s academic results with their colleagues at work. Children compare their examination scripts with their table mates, and fight to become a leader in their CCA – because it is all about portfolio, portfolio, and portfolio.

But this comes with a price of an undeniable pressure on the mental health of young children. Studies show that depression affects 18 per cent of Singaporean youths, and this excludes those who have not sought professional help.

Suicide rates amongst youths have also been increasing despite a shrinking population, as reported by the Samaritans of Singapore (SOS), an organisation that provides emotional support against suicide.

People call for change, and things are changing. Policies to improve have been put into place: the Primary School Leaving Examinations (PSLE) – an examination that determines which secondary school a child can enter – will be removed by 2021, and prestigious government scholarships are accepting students based on their achievements instead of grades.

But the competition is not completely abolished, and it will not be. “To ensure that the country stays relevant,” said the then Minister of Education in a speech.

And the people agree. Because for many of us, competition has become a norm that we cannot live without. The competition is our drive, and it is our benchmark for success.

"Because it is all about portfolio, portfolio, and portfolio."

The competition gave me a chance to lead a fulfilling life. After graduation, I felt empty as I had nothing that needed my immediate attention. I enjoy being able to do something meaningful, because I would hate to look back at my youth when I’m older and see that I didn’t achieve anything.

This practicality – to do things that help build our future – thrives in our society. Even though people see the ugly side of this, they won’t move away from it, because at the end of it all, it is what we need to survive.

Do I hate this competition? No. It could be less stressful, but it pushes me to become a better version of myself.

Yes, I live in a society of competition. But there is a magic to grow up hearing that your best is not enough: you learn to acknowledge defeat, yet you learn to get stronger, and fight for a better future for yourself.

Or maybe I'm just a by-product of years of societal pressure, stress, and the education system.

(first published in HdM Stuttgart's magazine, Laufmasche (SS19), by the VielSeitig student writing club, Jul 2019)